What is emotional intelligence, emotional quotient, or EQ? How does it relate to business? In this episode, Jen Du Plessis interviews Kelsey Rauchut about the value of understanding people, not just at a surface level but a deeper one. Kelsey is an industry-leading National Business Development Manager with Annie Mac Home Mortgage, an award-winning media expert, a sought after speaker, and the podcast host of The Inside Edge. She lets us in on how we can utilize emotional intelligence to forge a successful practice. She also emphasizes how loan officers should not only target sales but emotions as well.
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How Emotional Intelligence Impacts Your Income With Kelsey Rauchut
I have a fun guest with me, Kelsey Rauchut. She is the National Business Development Manager for AnnieMac Home Mortgage, which is a company I absolutely love. She’s an award-winning media expert, sought-after speaker and podcast host of The Inside Edge. She’s a mortgage and real estate influencer, social media master and a personal development hunter. She takes an innovative approach to providing new solutions for increasing transactions for mortgage and real estate professionals nationally to thrive in the market. On top of that, she was recognized as one of the Top Most Powerful Women from National Mortgage Professional Magazine. Kelsey, welcome. I’m so excited for this interview.
I told you years ago when I saw you speak on stage for the first time and I remember looking up, thinking, “I want to know her and I want to understand her story and how she got to where she’s at.” It’s all about continuing to build these relationships. I’ve gotten to know you well and spoken on stage with you. It’s been a blast, so thank you for having me.
We’ve done all kinds of fun stuff together. We’ve had cocktails. When we’ve done that, we know each other. I’m excited to have you here. I want you to share your story and what exactly you do as a business development officer because we have realtors, entrepreneurs, and mortgage people reading. Some that are taking care of their business themselves and they don’t have a business development officer working for them and others that have a team but maybe not a business development officer. It’s becoming less unique, but it is unique at AnnieMac that you are a manager of bringing in business for a multitude of loan officers. We want to talk about what it looks like if you’re just an individual and you’re being your own business development manager as well. Also, how you got to where you are and certainly if you could tap into what your social media presence looks like.
I am right close to almost 50,000 followers on multiple social media platforms but heavily on LinkedIn. Starting out straight out of college, a communications degree in sociology, I was like, “What’s my thing? What’s my passion, and in people?” I ended up being at the right place at the right time and was out to brunch with some girlfriends. The one girl worked for AnnieMac and the executives were in need of an assistant. I jumped in and you start from the bottom. You’re getting coffees, running lunch orders, learning and observing. You’re a sponge and you figure out, “What is my lane? What is my highway?” For me, it was either a loan officer or scaling business, helping people make money. I wanted to make money, so I wanted to help people make money because I knew I learned it along the way. That’s the path I took. The biggest thing in building my brand, building comfortability and breaking down walls of people who see me as a “headhunter”, a recruiter. I never understood the term headhunter. It’s scary.
For my intent, my focus was to be able to diagnose and prescribe what the needs were of mortgage professionals out there, what they weren’t doing, what they didn’t have enough time to do, and what was their futuristic goals. I help take them down a journey, help them see and feel what it would be like to have it, simply execute on those things and share how myself and my company have helped producers get to that level. This was in a six-year span. I’ve been at AnnieMac for years, which is crazy, but it boiled down to scaling mortgage teams, helping the average loan officer go from good to phenomenal, and experience massive income growth and opportunity to be that impact maker in their community, and expand their reach and support. Over the years in doing this, it caused referrals for myself. I’m my own businesswoman in itself, and I create my own referral channels and my own brand. I’ve been able to speak on stage and share how I’ve done it. The followings, the people that have latched on to social media are a result of the emotional intelligence behind how I’ve done it.
What we’re going to talk about is emotional intelligence. For me, this is a huge area. You and I have talked about this before because we were going to share a stage and talk about emotional intelligence deeply. To back it up a little bit so that everyone understands, and I’m going to simplify it. It’s not quoting anybody, it’s just a simplification of it. Your IQ does not affect your income. Your EQ does, which is your emotional intelligence, but there’s a more scientific name for that. It’s the emotional quotient, but it’s your emotional intelligence that does impact your income, not your IQ. Being smart helps, that’s great.
This goes back to Rich Dad Poor Dad, the whole book by Robert Kiyosaki. The premise is that, and these are my words, “The educated person is in a bubble and can only make so much money because they’re working for someone. Whereas the person who is an entrepreneur is not in a bubble because the sky’s the limit, but they have to have something called emotional intelligence in order to manifest that into success.” What we’re talking about is a mind shift in understanding how to utilize your emotional intelligence to forge forward to have a successful practice. I want to make sure that everybody understands that and hopefully, that was clear. It was just my words of explaining my concept of emotional intelligence. With that said, Kelsey, tell us what emotional intelligence is other than what I’ve described because I know that there is a deeper piece of this as well, and what that mindset looks like.
In my words, and this isn’t quoted from somebody, “The emotional intelligence in business, sales, relationships, and whatever it may be, is being able to connect with another human. Having the opportunity to not just be surface level and selling but providing a different type of value that connects and resonates with them in a way that allows them to feel connected with you. The opportunity where you’re able to not just give them at face value.” In my opinion, emotional intelligence can be looked at in many different ways and people can complicate it more than they need to. When you give someone an opportunity to be on stage or give them a podium to speak from in your business, that could be a Facebook Live interview or in a podcast, giving someone recognition where you’re positioning them as a subject matter expert. I always say to loan officers, “Take your real estate agents, sit them down, interview them and talk about real-world stuff. I don’t want to just talk about loan products, pricing and the opportunity for them to grow their business. You want to get deeper than that.”
The way you do it is you talk about the real vulnerable things that humans all go through. As an example, for me personally, when I’m speaking to a loan officer, I’m understanding their world. What are the restrictions? What are the limitations? What is the bubble that they’re living in? How do I get them out of that bubble and feel safe in speaking to me? The reality is not everybody’s comfortable sharing their weaknesses, fears, doubts and the things that they’re not good at. Having the opportunity to take that, spin it into positive and give people the commonality of, “You’re not alone in this,” and you see other people doing it and helping them scale and grow.
Messaging is a great way to strengthen your emotional intelligence in communicating publicly to your audience. There’s something that happens chemically. If I was on the phone with Jen, there’s a powerful emotional connection that we’re having that is helping expand this conversation. It’s physically, chemically, and the opportunity for us to suspend that time. For those of you who steer away from social media, I get it that a lot of people want to be private about their lives, and that’s absolutely respectful. There are certain things you can share and you don’t have to share. If you’re building a business and you’re building the opportunity for someone to come into your world and buy a home, the biggest purchase that they will ever make in their lifetime, they want to trust you. They want to see and feel who you are. They want to understand where you come, the kind of mother you might be, the sister that you are, and the challenges you might be going through.
Within that emotional intelligence, you have to be thinking deeper than, “I want to get business out of this person,” and you want to be able to see, “This is the path,” and also be connected in with your why. Knowing your why and knowing how it connects to your job, roles, responsibilities and passion, it’s going to help launch you forward in helping you connect deeply with those around you. That creates a stronger anchor and roots in your relationship. That’s going to create longevity and help you power through the multitude, the multiplying of your relationships and that referral network that you’re most likely trying to build.
If someone’s reading and they’re saying, “There’s a lot to this emotional intelligence.” One of the other aspects of emotional intelligence also is being able to recognize your surroundings and where you can develop teamwork connections and teamwork with people. That’s not just the norm. What we’re challenging you to do is to think out of the box, and I’m not talking about going out of the box and making yourself feel completely uncomfortable. That’s not it. It’s thinking out of the box and saying, “How can I move a relationship forward and make an impact on someone’s life and the people around me as well?” That is where the rubber hits the road. We can’t be a hermit sitting in our office and hoping that our income is going to change when we’re not out there applying these things that Kelsey is talking about.You need to always clarify your intentions at all times through any type of branding. Click To Tweet
Kelsey, let’s talk about what you do apply. What are some of the things when you talk about the innovative ways of doing it, without giving away all of AnnieMac secrets, what you would share on the stage? I’m a loan officer or I’m a realtor, I’m reading and I’m saying, “How do I start thinking outside of the box? What are some things that I can do?” Social media is one aspect of it. What can I do as far as boots on the ground? I’ve got relationships with people and they’re not as deep as I want them. You don’t want me to get on a soapbox with this because this is where many people that I’m starting to coach and I’m meeting that are saying, “I want deeper relationships,” but I don’t feel like there’s a full understanding of what that means. We’re moving forward with boots on the ground, including social media in it. What are some suggestions that you have in your experience of moving on loan officers from being good to being fantastic?
In my own personal branding, part of what I’ve done to make a cold call or warm call has been in sending a video message introducing myself. Letting that person know I’m going to call them and letting them know my intent. “Intention will either deepen or weaken your relationships,” a quote from Paul Zinn, our senior vice president for biz dev, but it’s true. When you think about it, your intention has always been judged. There’s perceived intent and there’s actual intent. You need to always be clarifying what your intentions are at all times through any type of branding. Realtors get hit up by loan officers all the time. Our job as a loan officer is dependent on our realtor’s sources of fruits. Our labor, the way that we approach real estate agents needs to become different. When I talk to seasoned vet loan officers that have been doing this a long time, they’ll tell you, “My friendships are my real estate department.” When you think of the word friend and what that means, it means that there’s trust, emotional connection, and a balance between respect of business and friendship, and it can break that bond. It’s like a sisterly bond and a brotherly bond. It’s as simple as it is becoming friends with your real estate partners.
You think, “What would my friends value in my friendship?” It’s the opportunity to connect with them on things that they care about. Asking the right questions is the biggest key. A lot of times, loan officers are like, “I’ve got great turn times, products and service.” They think that that’s the magic pill to let the gates open. Going back to your thinking, you don’t need to step out of your comfort and become completely uncomfortable with this growth but you need to rewire your thinking. In trying to simplify this in some of the best ways, develop a niche around your referral sources. AnnieMac has certifications and awards that we nominate our realtors in all different levels, negotiation skills, advanced technology associate awards, becoming a pet-friendly real estate agent, coming and staging. Realtors pay thousands of dollars sometimes to get certified as a stager where we give it to them, partner with a stager out there and figure out how to maximize the things that they love about this business.
My loan officers work closely with some coaching companies out there. Jen, you and I know Carl White, The Freedom Club, and some of the ways that they’ve been able to simplify the process. Jen, in your coaching company, you’ve been able to blow up your circle of people and create massive followers because you provide a simplistic way of teaching or it’s direct and simple. If you can do the same with your realtors where you don’t need to complicate things, make it simple, and support them and their goals, that’s the key. Another way that loan officers are attracting their top agents is by getting ahead of technology. People fear technology as something that’s going to replace them, something they don’t understand or maybe it is not needed because they’ve been doing it one way for so long that they don’t feel the need to change. Allow technology to work for you. We have a business that we’re able to pull out of our databases and it’s a goldmine that you’re sitting on top of that you can give your referral partners leads. We all know that that’s one of the most powerful ways. We all wish we had a whole bag full of leads to give to our agents that are going to convert. If you lean on your company’s technology and on the opportunity to expose your business to lead with intelligence, you’re going to succeed. I hope that checks off some boxes.
I wanted to piggyback on three things that you mentioned. Intention is huge. I’ve never done cold calls because I don’t like them, period, end of story. I don’t even think I’ve done one to see if I like it. My focus is on relationships and that’s what all my coaching is on. Developing these relationships and using the terminology of richer relationships rather than deeper relationships because deep is monetary. You want a deeper relationship to make money. I’m talking about going deeper and wider with these people, so you have these richer relationships and richer life as a result of it. Hence, that fine line between friends. Intention is key. We don’t preface any of our conversations with what the intention is, whether it’s a cold call or a meeting with someone we meet. We think that the realtor knows our intention but if you allow the realtor to pigeonhole you or stereotype you into what your intention would be based on their experiences to allow that to sit there, they’re already closed off through that entire conversation.
You have to break down that wall initially to preface the entire meeting with what is going to happen in the meeting. One of the things that I’ve been big on and I want to share with everybody as it relates to asking the right questions is we go into these meetings like hungry animals. The whole hope is, “I hope they like me. I hope they don’t not like me.” That’s a horrible feeling. “I hope that they want to work with me.” This is where the difference is. We fail to go in with the premise that I’m interviewing them and I might not like them. We don’t add that piece in and that’s where the emotional intelligence comes in because now you’re backing off. It’s not even a backing off. It’s neutral. I’m leaning in and trying to win them over. I talk too much and I spin on them with all these products, services and whatnot that I do. Rather taking a more neutral position in saying, “Thank you so much for meeting me. I recognize that 1 of 3 outcomes is going to happen as a result of this meeting. You may decide not to work with me, and that’s okay. You may decide that you want to work with me, and that would be wonderful. However, I may decide that you’re not a good fit for my practice, either. Is that okay? Is that fair before we head forward?”
Doing that makes you so much different than everybody else. It takes the pressure off the pitch and allows for the doors to open for relationships. I wanted to go in with that. Your point to client acquisition, there is no book that says that loan officers can’t acquire clients themselves. There’s nothing in all of the clients that says, “We cannot go out and find clients ourselves and then give them to realtors.” Why we sit around and wait for realtors to give us business is beyond me. For me, it’s a relationship and we do it together. I wanted to piggyback on that and go a little bit deeper with those points that you made. They’re brilliant points, especially along with the certification. That’s something different and unique. Let’s take a stager, myself and align ourselves with another staging realtor. I’d help them amplify those certifications. I don’t have a realtor anymore, but I had a realtor who had eighteen certifications and didn’t know business, a professional student.
Being able to help them utilize and multiply their business is powerful. What a great tactic for that. Now that you’ve given some innovative things, what do you think is the one thing that holds people back from taking the action to implement and move their business forward? This isn’t emotional intelligence and it’s got to be something about emotional intelligence as we know what we need to do. You know you’ve got to make phone calls, meet realtors, and do client acquisition. Why the heck don’t you do it?
It’s absolutely emotional intelligence connected with the resistance as to why we don’t do things that we know we need to do. I have a thought and all my devotions. I was reading through forgiveness and how hard it is to sometimes forgive someone, even though we know when we do it, it heals us. We know when we let go of those emotions, it’s what we should do, but it’s difficult. I’ve had to learn this over time through analyzation, prayer, and through practice and understanding that my biggest breakthroughs, I know they’re coming when I have the most resistance leaning in. When I have most speed bumps coming across my way and the world feeling like it’s after me, not in a self-pity way, but in a way that’s like, “It’s coming. Let’s bring it.” When I am cold calling, there are some days where I sit there and I’m like, “I don’t feel like doing this.” I had those days. I’m picking anything else. I feel like a lot of people are surfing the web, doing stuff online and not coming with hard contact straight with somebody. I was one of those people. I don’t do LinkedIn. I just message.
I realized that I needed to get in front of people in a different way, and that’s when I took a video messaging approach. That is what builds my brand. When you think about doing the things that you have to do, you have to analyze. My thought here was when I feel the heaviest and I pick up the phone, that person on the other line needed to hear from me. They needed to feel connected with me and they needed help. They were that one person that was like, “Wow.” I realized, “When that leans in, it’s my green light to go.” When you rewire your thinking, that is emotional intelligence because I’m feeling emotions that I don’t feel like doing. John Maxwell says, “You have to do what you have to do when you have to do it, whether you feel like it or not. When you dig deep into that and you pull something out of it, it’s the most rewarding thing.” The people that are most successful have caught on to that “high” and chase that.
You said you’re in the top 200 of loan officers and you said you’ve never made cold calls, but you figured out a different way to do it that’s better and became wider. That’s a possibility for everyone. My answer to you in focusing on why people don’t do what they do, it’s because they haven’t felt that yet. They have to rewire their thinking on what it feels to catch that and you have to expect 9 noes and get that 1 yes out of 10 calls. Odds are in your favor and they’re also against you. You have to decide which of the half empty or half full cup you want to press into and lean into, and the kind of person you want to be.You don't need to step out of your comfort and become completely unconscious, but you need to rewire your thinking. Click To Tweet
One of the things I’d say about that is not a sales call. It’s a service call. How dare you not call people to help them? Even in your database. You mentioned before about your database and I call it acres of diamonds. We have acres of diamonds sitting on this property that we’re on. We just need to dig a little bit in different areas with the people to expose those diamonds. It is a mindset. It is not a sales call, it is a service call. You are there to service them and to help them solve problems that they have. That’s where the rubber hits the road is pushing that out. Every day, I have this little prayer that I do, which is, “God, please help me find the person somewhere out there that needs me.” I know that every day there’s going to be one person that needs me and it’s my job to get out there and make sure that they know that I’m around. That is the simple thing that propels you, rather than leaning in and going back.
I’ll share this one quick experience. One time, I went to Maryland and on the way to Maryland, I stopped at a local Starbucks. A gentleman walked up to me and said, “Kelsey, this sounds a little crazy, but I follow you on LinkedIn. I watch your videos. You do such a good job. I’m not from around here but I knew if I didn’t say hello, I won’t get a chance. It’s nice to meet you.” I said, “Wow.” It took a few minutes and we talked about his business, what he does and what drives him. That was one of those God moments for me. Hours later, I got a call asking if I would speak at an event coming up. I’m not saying this to be bragging or boastful. I say this in the power of social and what you can do in your message is important. If you believe in that, you can get it out and it will hit the right people at the right time. You have to give to God to do the rest. With this other gentleman, I was at the gym and I walked by. He’s like, “Kelsey.” I stopped and he was like, “We’re friends on Facebook. I love your videos.” I was like, “There’s something to this.” That stamp of approval, the stamp of confirmation, and keep going green light, the people pointing their life this way, so you have to look for that. Sometimes, you can miss it when it’s right in front of your face.
I know who that other person is. That’s funny how the world is all tied together because I know that person too. You know that person and there are all these connections that we have. I didn’t know that you knew the person and you didn’t know that I knew the person. That’s powerful when we connect. The world is filled with billions of people for us to get to know and have these wonderful relationships with. What advice would you give to someone who’s reading that says, “I am done with this and I’m not going to talk about it anymore. I’m going to take the action that is needed to get results?” What is the one thing you would tell them to do, off the cuff no matter where they’re at?
Grab a piece of paper and write three things down that you feel are holding you back from jumping in and doing what you know you have to do. Write down, why is this a feeling and why is it holding me back? Write three things that you’re going to do to change it. What activities do you need to practice? Do you need to jump in a boxing class, hit a boxing bag and smash the resistance that’s leaning against you? Do you need to hang out with your kids and think futuristically? “If I make these calls tomorrow, what’s that going to mean for our future family’s income and the depth of what I’m able to do to provide for my family?” Find a coach or an accountability buddy. You don’t have to pay for this person. You can make it to somebody that you say, “I need you to hold me accountable at the end of every week. If I don’t do this thing, there needs to be some type of consequence. Can you help hold me accountable? I don’t want to come to you at the end of the week, not having prepared and done what I said I was going to do.”
Another emotional intelligence side note. Rachel Hollis once told me, “If you make a promise to yourself and you don’t do it, how do you feel when someone makes a promise to you and they don’t follow through?” You think of that person as either fake, not follow-through or somebody that’s shallow. You’re subconsciously telling yourself those same feelings. You need to control that and you need to find that accountability partner/coach or somebody that can help you that you’re not alone. Iron sharpens iron at the end of the day. Get yourself involved in some type of fellowship group. I’m launching with one of my girlfriends who is a total boss lady in multi-marketing. We’re launching a women’s mastermind group with women in all types of businesses and we’re going to have goal setting, accountability, motivation, inspiration and leaning on one another for that support. Get yourself plugged into something. That’s my advice.
Les Brown has a great quote, “If you’re casual about your life, your life will be a casualty.” It’s the same thing in business. If you’re casual about your business, your business will be a casualty. You can’t casually be sitting back and looking at your business go by and knowing that you need to take some action and knowing that talking about it won’t work. It’s taking action. It’s not enough to know what you have to do. It’s also how to do it and surrounding yourself with the right people. I love what you’re planning to do. That’s wonderful. I don’t expect anything less from you to be able to put something like that together. I’d like to ask you two questions. What book are you listening to or reading that is making an impact on you? What is your favorite quote?
I’ve been reading it for a while because I’m one of those that picks up ten books at a time. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks is amazing. I keep reading and rereading, so that’s probably one of my top. You’re living in different zones and you might be in your zone of excellence, but you want to get to your zone of genius. You’re feeling like, “I’ve reached success in my life, but what’s next?” That’s your book. My favorite quote is from my leadership team. This is a time when I had some health issues, I was in the hospital, and they sent me flowers. This quote said, “A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey, but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.”
Thank you so much for sharing that. That is absolutely beautiful. It reminded me of my mother who passed and you know that, on your stage at AnnieMac one year. It happened at the moment I was on stage with you guys. I love that strength in it, whether it’s a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter. That’s the bottom line. We find strength in the journey and we’ve got to move forward every single day. It has been wonderful talking to you. I hope that this has helped someone else or sparked an idea for someone. If someone wants to get ahold of you, what is the best way for them to reach you on social media?
Send me either a LinkedIn message or a Facebook message. I’m also on Instagram and it’s @Closing_Deals_In_Heels. If you’re reading this and you simply want to reach out, chat and talk, I encourage that. I love that. There’s a reason for it so please be inspired to do that. I’d love to learn your story.You have to expect nine “no’s” and get that one “yes” out of ten calls you make. Click To Tweet
Thank you so much for being here with us and sharing this awkward and emotional thing. For us, it’s not because we’ve talked about it many times that we’ve met. It’s this awkward thing of going from thinking that you’ve got a full package of being a smart person, knowing your guidelines, and all the aspects of it too. Embracing this thought that you need to expand your thinking to include other people. Reaching out of the box and pulling people in your box as opposed to going out. Thank you so much, Kelsey, for being here with us. If you want to reach out to her, make sure you follow her on all of the social media platforms that she’s on so that you can continue to grow your business and gain more knowledge and emotional intelligence. I want to say thank you so much to everyone for reading. If this is your first time, welcome. I hope you enjoyed this session and that you’ll read more. If you’ve been with us for a long time, thank you so much for reading and I encourage you to reach out to me as well if you have any questions or any topics that you’d like for us to discuss. I am always open to bringing whatever you need to grow your business. We will catch you next time.
- AnnieMac Home Mortgage
- The Inside Edge
- LinkedIn – Kelsey Rauchut
- Rich Dad Poor Dad
- The Freedom Club
- The Big Leap
- Facebook – Kelsey Rauchut
- @Closing_Deals_In_Heels – Instagram
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About Kelsey Rauchut
Kelsey Rauchut is an industry leading National Business Development Manager with AnnieMac Home Mortgage. Award winning media expert, sought after speaker, awarded top producer Presidents Club 2018 & 2019 winner. National Mortgage Professional Magazine nominated Kelsey as one of the “Most Powerful Women in Mortgage Banking.”