Most of the time, people are stuck in a feeling of overwhelm, constantly thinking about past failures and the long list of tasks to accomplish. But by detaching yourself even for just a short while from these complicated things and start elevating your energy, one can achieve a sense of self-empowerment and begin to see the world from a more positive perspective. Jen Du Plessis sits down with keynote speaker and breakthrough coach Brian Biro to talk about understanding the choice of creating energy, being present at all times, and having gratitude in everything, rather than falling into the abyss of regret and disappointment. He also explains why the attitude of blaming is the most disabling trait anyone can ever have and why people must instead learn to embrace humility in all aspects of life.
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How Elevating Your Energy Can Lead To Profound Self-Empowerment With Brian Biro
Our guest is Brian Biro. He is known as America’s Breakthrough Coach, which I am excited to talk about. You don’t even know about Brian yet. Wait until you hear about this. A major client described him best when he said, “Brian Biro has the energy of a 10-year-old, the enthusiasm of 20-year-old, and the wisdom of a 75-year-old.” He’s delivered over 1,800 presentations around the world for many years. He authored fifteen different books. He’s been the number one rated speaker for many years, magazines and conferences.
His degree is from Stanford University and UCLA. He’s appeared on Good Morning America and CNN. He was named one of the top 100 most inspirational graduates in the 75-year history of UCLA, which is powerful. They had some great speakers come to their graduation ceremonies. He is one of the top 60 motivational speakers in the world. We are in for a real treat with Brian inspiring us in a time when we’re all wondering what the heck is going to happen next in this crazy world that we’re in? Welcome to the show, Brian. I’m happy to have you.
Jen, I’m honored and humbled to be with you. You reach many people and makes such a difference for many people beyond the real estate market, beyond the mortgage market. You affect people. It’s an honor.
Thank you so much. I want to jump right in and talk about how you got there or got to where you’re at, and what inspires you. We had talked about the fact that this is your third career, and it sounds like this is the one you love the most. What propelled you or drove the passion for you to get into speaking?
My first career was as a United States swimming coach. When I was going to Stanford, I taught and coached swimming. I put myself through Stanford that of mega loans, which I didn’t love. I realized that no matter what you do in life, it’s the people business. I love people and I have a great belief that there are no overachievers. What I mean by that is we have more in us than we think. We have more potential than we think. In my first career as a coach, I was trying to work with young athletes to rise to their highest potential, and realize that you coach people, you don’t coach the sport. Probably I’d still be a swimming coach except for I had no life. I’m probably the only person you know who went to graduate school to get a life instead of a job, and I did. That’s when I met my wife. I started a family. I ended up going to the corporate world. I became a vice president of a large transportation company, and then an international training company.
Along that way, I started doing team-building events in my own company because we were siloed. We were separated. We were short of our potential because we were more about ego than we go. At the peak of that, we had this massive turnaround that was driven from the inside by our choices, not by the outside, not by the market. At that point, I said to my wife, “We’re doing great. Let’s quit. I got to go do this.” This is what I love. This is what I was put on this earth to do. That’s never diminished at all. I love getting people off the sidelines and into the game to discover their potential, to understand that life is about controlling your controllables. Focus on what you put in and the best will come out.
I think that’s important too. We can start diving into some of that. Thank you so much for sending me your books. I’ve been reading them. I’m a speed reader so I get through them quickly. There were a couple of things that I thought were interesting about what you did. Here’s the funny thing. I did not know that you had any correlation with Coach Wooden, none whatsoever. I have his book and I teach a portion of his Pyramid of Success to my students, and share an actual picture of it because I do like that. I was an athlete too, so I understand how that works. When you had this wonderful meeting with him and you said, “John, I’m going to adopt this but I’m going to take a twist on it.” Tell us about the twist that you took on this Pyramid of Success because his is more tactical and yours, for me, was more mindset.
That’s wonderful. First of all, I am delighted to hear that you teach John Wooden because he was so much more than a basketball coach. For anybody who’s reading who does not know who he was, John Wooden was called the Wizard of Westwood. He won ten national championships coaching UCLA basketball, but he was a better father, a better husband, a better person than he was a coach. We lost him several years ago at the age of 99.5. He had a great run and a great life. What I cherish is the fact that he is a person who epitomized all of those things he taught in the Pyramid of Success, which is about focusing on the things that you control that we talked about.
He treated people with dignity and respect. He was probably the kindest man I’ve ever met, and yet he was the greatest there ever was at what he did. It shows that you can focus more on character than reputation. A character is who you are, reputation is only what others think you are. It works, it rocks, and it moves forward. I grew up admiring him. I grew up in Southern California and I love the way he treated people. He was the epitome of the opposite of the throw the chair guy. He didn’t beat up. He was a gentleman and the fiercest thing he ever said was, “Good, gracious.” That was about it, but he got his point across.
I was in my second career. I was running this large international training company. I thought, “What would be better than interview the guy that I thought was the best team builder I’ve ever seen?” That first conversation was one of the most precious windows of opportunity moments in my life. From that, the idea of the book came because I found that the things that I teach, which I call breakthrough leadership. The other thing is I didn’t realize that you used the word breakthrough a lot.
That was what I was going to surprise you with, Cracking the Top Producer Code, Breakthrough Blueprint. Everything I do is about glass ceilings and breaking through. It was alignment for us.There are no overachievers. Every individual possesses more potential than they think. Click To Tweet
It was. I’m called America’s Breakthrough Coach partly because I’ve had close to a million people break 1-inch-thick boards karate style in my events as a metaphor of breaking through fears, obstacles, habits or doubts. What I looked at the Pyramid of Success was that it was a great roadmap to breakthrough. There’s something for everybody in each of those blocks of the pyramid. Most of all, what John Wooden taught and I didn’t realize that when I was coaching, I was almost coaching exactly his principles with slightly different words. What his great focus was he said that success is peace of mind. That comes from knowing you’ve given the best of what you’re capable of. He was not focused on the result. He was focused on what you put in. He used to wink at you and say, “If you do that, you’ll probably get pretty good results.”
The greatest coach of all time never said the words winning or losing to his players. Did he want to win? Yeah. What he wanted was for each person associated with him to focus on their choices. That’s what my take on the Pyramid of Success. I look at each of those choices where we get to decide. Ultimately, it’s one choice, we choose fear or we choose love, that’s it. Every one of those boxes in that pyramid is what gets you to that point. I’m glad to hear that you have that connection to him too and they were living on because he was a great teacher. He never said he was a coach because he was a teacher.
It’s interesting even in my coaching for my clients, I had this conversation with someone. She said, “I put my numbers in there. I put all my stats in there.” I said, “You put your results in there and they’re great, but I want to see how you got there. I want to see all of the pieces that are there because in those pieces are triggers and clues for me to see as your mentor from the outside ways that you can improve every single aspect, so that your results are higher. Just giving me your results, won’t work. I need to see what’s ticking underneath there. How did you get to those?” I love that. Brian, what is a defining moment in your life that propelled you from your perspective? You talked about reputation and character but from your perspective, not what everyone else said, “Now, he’s made it,” but what propelled you? What was the defining moment that you have in your life?
I’m going to cheat and give you two.
We have many ceilings to breakthrough.
That’s exactly right. Once we breakthrough one, there’s another one on the way. The first one was when I was pretty young. It was my senior year at Stanford. I was amazed that I got into Stanford and always said, “They must have had another Brian Biro. They messed up and they didn’t take him, and they took me instead.” I grew up like a lot of people of my age in a family where my dad was a tough guy. He couldn’t say he loved me. He couldn’t say he was proud of me and all that thing. He was an LAPD. He was one of my dearest friends in the world now. We have broken through an ultimate ceiling, but I never felt good enough.
At one probably the darkest moment of my life where I wondered if I had anything worthwhile to give to this world, I wondered if I even belonged in this world, it suddenly hit me that I had lived my entire life focusing on what I could get rather than what I could give. I was looking to be loved, and the pivotal change in my life, it may sound small but it was incredible. It was revolutionary in me. It was a shift to one word. I shift from the focus on trying to be the best. That’s what I had lived for because I thought maybe if I’m the best, my dad will be proud of me.
I have been that road before.
The shift was from the best to my best. Instantly everything in my life began to take on a whole different direction, a different trajectory. I was more fun to play with now. Before that happened, you did not want to play a game with me because I had to win. As soon as I shifted to having fun being my best, I did better at whatever I was working at.
It aligned with you because then anything else may not have been aligned with you. That was the first breakthrough. What was your second breakthrough?
The second was much further along when I had become a speaker. After about two years, I realized, and it’s the same lesson. It broke through one ceiling and found myself at the same ceiling again. I realized that I was living for the evaluations from the people in my events. I was sitting in the Saint Louis Airport. I had spoken. I had 100 evaluations and because of the nature of what I do, which is I get people off the sidelines end of the game. I believe when you hear, you forget. When you see, you remember. When you do, you understand. That’s why I have people breaking boards, doing something they didn’t know they could do when they walked in that room. I was sitting there, and because I have my passion for what I do and the fun that’s in it, I get 99 out of 100 say, “It changed my life. Wonderful.” There will be one that would say, “Pretty good,” and that’s the only one I paid any attention to. It’s like a knife through my heart. I finally sat there and realized, “Am I doing this for the evaluations? If so, I’m not doing it for what I’m here to do.” From that day forward, I shifted and it wasn’t that I didn’t care about evaluations but I didn’t pay any attention to them. People are going to give me input, I’ll get that. The rest was a popularity contest.
It was amazing because from that little shift, when I finished speaking, I was energized from then on out. Until that point, I felt bone tired because I was doing it for what I could get instead of what I could give. Here’s the simple truth, whenever you seek to enrich another person’s experience, you can’t help but enrich your own. Even when you start to focus on what you put in, it’s going to bring things back to you without forcing it automatically. Those were the two shifts. They’re the same principle, which is focused on my controllables. When we focus on controlling our controllables, we feel the momentum. We feel joy. We feel light. We feel flexible. When we’ve tried to control our uncontrollables, we feel frustrated, scared, lost, and worried. That is huge now. That’s why what you and I are doing is more needed than ever, so that we help people get back on track to focusing on their choices and their controllables.
Also, get back on the right track. Even before that, there were many people that were on the wrong track. This was the accident with the seatbelt where you hit the wall. You had a seatbelt but it struck you in such a way that you said, “I got to change things. I have to change things.” It’s super important. I want to comment on a couple of things, and then now that super important. Let me talk about that. I want to go back to this other thing, and then ask you another question. I felt like 2020, we were in a cocoon. We’re still in a cocoon, and we have the choice. We can shrivel up and die or we can emerge as a beautiful butterfly and make ourselves better. If you ever find this, when you’re speaking you come up with a phrase and you’re like, “I can’t forget that one. That’s a new one. I got to have that.”
When that happens, I’d say to somebody, “Please write that one down.”
I was talking about something and I go, “We went through the pivot. You tried things. You reinvented yourself. You lost weight or tried to lost weight. You did some things. You’ve had some success and you know there’s more to do. You realize that,” and then I was like, “We got get it done in ‘21. Yes. I have a hashtag.” I posted something and I went in. I started #GetItDone, 1,000 posts already. It’s not my new thing. This is where I’m at this year. It’s Get it done in ’21. We had all year to figure it out, do the research, do self-analysis, reach out to people, find mentors, and figure out what we were going to do. A lot of people had moderate success. You and I both pivoted and had success in 2020 regardless of what happened, but it’s all about getting it done in ‘21.
I love it. I’m going to steal that with great joy.
Yeah, because it’s not my post. I learned that one. That brings me to one of the things that you talk about a lot with people. It’s the three keys to that personal and professional energy. When I say, “Get it done in ‘21,” my energy level increases by saying that and not going, “It’s, COVID-19.” I’m saying, “I’m getting it done in ‘21. Watch out. Here I come because I’m going to get it done.” I love that you said, “Seek to get versus give.” Getting it done is not getting from people. It’s doing what I promise, my accountability for my personal professional development of what I said I wanted to get done in 2021. Can you share with us a lot about the three keys to personal and professional energy as we start off 2021?It is up to us to choose if we let love reign over us or be consumed by fear. Click To Tweet
The most important starting place about talking about energy is, why is your energy important? Why is your energy important to your career, to your health, to your attitude, to your family? There are two fundamental reasons why energy is crucial. The first allows me to introduce your whole team to my favorite word and it’s the word WOO. WOO stands for Window Of Opportunity. The WOO is the window of opportunity, which is every precious moment. Here’s what I mean. You never know if the next person you’ll meet now may become a lifelong friend. You didn’t know you met a lifelong friend. You never know if the next time you talk to a customer, a prospect, your family, somebody you met for the first time. If something you say, “Get it done in ‘21,” maybe was so on target for what that person didn’t see with their own eyes. You saw it and you said it. You see that somebody’s life got better.
The first reason why energy is important is energy helps you seize more WOOs. Have you ever noticed when you have more energy, how much more alert you are to possibility? How much more you are solution-oriented. Most of all, when you think about 2020, every adversity has planted the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. In other words, the toughest things we may or make through are the things from which we grow the most. When you have energy, you’ll look for that seed of possibility. When you don’t, you get eaten alive by the adversity. That’s the first reason why energy is important.
The second reason and this is huge. To your customers, to your children, to anyone that you care about having a major positive impact on your life, your energy is your example. People won’t remember that much of what you say no matter how well you say it. It sounds like a funny thing for a professional speaker to say, but they’ll never forget your energy. People know your energy watching this show. That’s why they come back. They will remember a few pearls here and there. Most of all, what they do is they feel your energy and it’s positively contagious. That’s why energy is important.
Once we’ve got that foundation of the purpose behind energy, the first thing to understand is energy is a choice. Most people don’t think about that. They think that energy is like the weather. It’s like, “I hope the weather is good for the family picnic. I hope the world stays good.” Energy is nothing like the weather. It is a matter of choice, but you need to understand what elevates that choice. How do we create energy by choice instead of chance in every precious WOO? The first is simple that we miss it. That is the energy is created by the way that you move. Anytime, you’ve been at your best. You’ve given your best presentation. You’ve been your most creative. You have moved your body distinctly different than when you are not in your best. Your body line posture, facial expression, eye position, and breathing. I say this to some people and they go, “Brian, if I had more energy, I’ll move more.”
You’ll get more energy.
Here’s the simple truth. If you want to move your career, your business, or your health, you got to move yourself. One great thing to do is to put yourself on what I call an ETP. That’s an Energy Transformation Program. For 30 days, consciously elevate your level of movement. Pick up your pace a little bit. Never sit at a computer for more than 15 or 20 minutes without getting up and moving around. Smile when you don’t feel like smiling. What will happen is, especially if you apply what I call the Principle of Exaggeration, you’ll start to breakthrough. Here’s what I mean. When I was a swimming coach, I had many athletes who swim with a high elbow.
That’s good in swimming. I had some who swim with a wide arm carriage. They pulled out to the side of their body under the water. That’s not good because you don’t have leverage out there. Where you want to pull is down the centerline of your body where you have the most power and balance. If I said to a swimmer who I can clearly see a swimmer way out here, “Pull down the centerline of your body.” What do you think they answered back to me? They said, “I am.” Whatever we feel, feels normal. They want to do it right. They think they’re pulling down the centerline of your body. It doesn’t do me any good as their coach. I say to that person who’s swimming out here, “Pull down the centerline of your body.” “No, it does me harm.” They look at me like, “Coach, you need glasses. I’m doing it.”
I would say to that person whose arms are way out here, “When your right-hand hits the water, pull it way over to your left, and with your left hand, pull it way over to your right.” As soon as I say to a swimmer who swims out here to pull way over there, guess where they pull? Right down the center. How does that feel to them? Totally weird. Here’s the point. You will not change your energy until it feels weird, but if you stay with it, you’ll groove into it. The number one way to change your energy instantly, and is the fastest way, is to change the way you move. Move your body to move your life.
The second is more profound, constant, and unstoppable. I can tell it’s the one that is the strongest for you. The fact is when you dial into the second key to extraordinary energy. You will move differently. That will automatically affect your movement and it is called the power of purpose. Whenever you’re full of purpose, you’re full of energy. Have you ever noticed when you get to do what you love to do? It doesn’t matter how much sleep you had. It doesn’t matter how you’ve been feeling. When you get to do what you love to do, you are five years old like my little grandson and anything is possible.
What happens when you lose sight of your purpose like somebody puts a big old pin in it? How can we on our ETP, our Energy Transformation Program focus on purpose in a fresh new way? Here’s what I invite you to do. For 30 days, you probably already do this, but for the next 30 days, every morning when you wake up, ask yourself, “What am I truly grateful about in my life?” All emotions have frequencies. The highest frequency, the highest vibrational emotion is gratitude. What you are truly grateful about will put you on a pathway towards your priorities. Your priorities will take you to a purpose. Before I speak, the last thing I do is bring this big photo of my family with me. I spend individual time with each of them because they are my purpose. I recognize as soon as I do that, that if I don’t give everyone in that audience the best I have to give right here, right now in this WOO, I’m not giving them my best. I simply won’t do it. When you are filled with purpose, energy flows. Energy is infinite. It is not finite as long as you’re full of purpose.
The third way is the power of questions. The quality of the questions you ask yourself will determine the quality of your life. The quality of the questions you ask your team will determine the quality of your team. The more you ask questions of possibility rather than limit, the more you’re going to elevate your energy. Those are the three things, change the way you move, focus daily on purpose, and start to ask enabling, empowering questions. That will transform your energy to where you feel like a seven-year-old kid every day.
Thank you so much for sharing all of that. It’s powerful because what I teach is priority management. You can’t do that if you don’t have a purpose. A lot of people say, “How do you get it all done, Jen?” That’s why I’m able to get it done because I have that purpose. I have the energy and therefore I can get it done twice as fast as everybody else. That’s what you’re saying too. It’s the same thing. I want to ask you a question specifically in the mortgage and real estate space because that’s most of our audience here for this particular show.
One of the biggest challenges that everyone’s having in this industry. I shouldn’t say everybody, I know there are some exceptions to this. If you’re familiar with the four stages of growth and I know some people talk about the five, I’m not. I don’t talk about the fifth stage typically, but the four stages of growth are formulation, concentration, momentum and stability. What happened is exactly a year ago as we’re doing this particular show, everyone was singing the blues, “I don’t know if I can stay in the business. I can’t find business.” All have binoculars on looking for more leads and more opportunities, “Woe is me.” It then we got thrust into this momentum, in this moment and not prepared for it. Yes, it’s exciting. Everyone is high-fiving themselves having their best year.
My concern and this is why I said, “Get it done in ‘21,” is you have to get this done. You have to get the foundation so that you don’t drop back down to formulation again when the market changes against you. That said, everyone’s in momentum. They don’t have time. The assumption would be their energy would be high because they’re doing a bunch of things. It’s actually pretty low because they’re overworked and not prepared for this type of volume that they’ve been experiencing. It’s at every level. If you weren’t doing any business, now you’re doing some. If you were doing some, now you’re doing more. If you were already a top producer, now you’re killing it. There’s a level of energy that’s a little tough to pull in and it’s a sustainability issue.
Can I do this another year without creating something that helps me be sustainable? A foundation. What is your counsel for everyone coming from that place? What is your counsel for everyone to not only do the three keys to try to get the energy, but to snap yourself out of the funk you’re in with your energy? I don’t think it’s just, “I’m here and I want to have more energy.” It’s, “I’m feeling buried and I need to get to a level where I can even approach this.”When you hear, you forget. When you see, you remember. But when you do, you understand. Click To Tweet
It’s huge in your industry because a part of that is market-driven from what’s changed in your market. It’s true for anybody who’s in any industry to some degree. What we want to do is understand that we are creatures of habit. Right now, there’s a window of opportunity to generate incredibly good habits that take you forward, whichever stage you’re at. The first is to understand that you can shape your future and that is about vision. You have to see it before you can be it. There are two facets that we control about our vision. The first is where many people get lost. I’ll use a metaphor. My little grandson, his name is Augie. He’s four years old and he’s a talented little rider on his tricycle. Pretty soon he’s going to be riding a two-wheeler. Right in front of him on the sidewalk is a great big rock. What does Augie focus on? The rock. What happens, he hits the rock and falls over. Two weeks later, same little guy but he’s got bike riding down. Bigger rock. What happens now? He goes around it. What goes around it first? The eyes.
He’s got more vision.
What we’re saying is that understand this foundational truth about shaping your future. What you focus on is what you create. Ask yourself the question, “What am I focusing on?” Something we talked about in this conversation, “Am I only focusing on the things I don’t control? Am I focusing on the result instead of what I do to create that result?” Shift your focus and you begin to go around the rock. The second aspect of shaping your future is not to use your memory to see. I’ve asked 750,000 people this question. I put it in my book, so you know the answer. I’m going to ask it and everyone who’s reading this, answer out loud. What color is a yield sign?
We all know this one.
I’ve said this to at least 500,000 people and every audience answers yellow. They are red and white. They changed 45 years ago. Why don’t we see them? Because we use our memory to see. It’s not about street signs but about ourselves, about our possibilities. When you start to understand that almost everyone you know rarely uses their vision to see, they use their memory to see. You have a tremendous opportunity to open your eyes fresh because there are possibilities all around. Step one to take that charge is to shape your future. The second is what we talked about, to energize and understand. When you talked about the way describe the question, you’re talking about that state of overwhelm that some people get into.
Overwhelmed, chaos, overworked.
There is only one antidote to deal with overwhelm successfully. It’s tied into your, “Get it done in ‘21.” It is to do one thing. Ask yourself this question, if you become someone who ingrains this question, you will have such an advantage in your marketplace, such an advantage in your life. The question is, what is my most important next step? What’s not my easiest next step? We get a to-do list, priority management. A lot of times, we want to check off stuff, but it’s not the important next step. Maybe the most important next step is you need to sit down with your daughter. Have a conversation and let her know how important she is. That’s more important than anything else at that moment. Most of us are trying to check stuff off the list, and that leads to more overwhelmed. Do the most important next thing.
The third is probably the most important one of all, in my opinion. You voiced it in the way you asked the question earlier. That is to control the controllable called presence, to be fully present. What does that mean? When you’re fully present, 100% of your mind, body and spirit is with the person you’re with where they are now. Whenever you do that, you send an unstoppable message that person is important. You need to take time to be present with others and you need to take time to be present with yourself. Being present is the most powerful way. When you say you get more things done, it’s because you’re present. You get more done.
It’s intentional. The last thing I would do is to become what I call a blame buster. The single most disabling trait that people develop is the word blame. Here’s why, blame has no functional purpose in life. I’m not saying that we don’t mess up, we do. Why does blame serve no productive purpose? Here’s why. Think about blame in the context of time. Is blame about the past, the present, or the future? It’s always about the past. The instant you fall into blame, where are you? You’re in the past where you can do nothing. A blame buster, which you are to yourself too, doesn’t pretend we don’t mess up.
They say, “What happened? What can I learn? What will I do now?” They take it from the past where there’s no productive purpose to the present that leads to a better future. Those are some of the key things that your energy is a choice to be fully present with people, and with what you want to get done, to do one thing, and to fight overwhelm. Take charge of your vision and ask yourself, “What have you been focusing on?” Since what you focus on is what you create. How many of us are focusing worrying about what will go wrong than creating what will go right?
That happens especially with this type of volume that’s happening. The bottom line is there are 100 things that can go wrong when someone buys a house, both in the home portion and the mortgage portion, 100 things can go wrong. Focusing on all of those 100 things is a waste of time. Do you know the Law of Familiarity? Everything that you’re saying needs to be heard from you.
I’m going to give you a personal story about this. We refinanced. I was talking to our mortgage refinance person, who is a wonderful person. She talked about how incredibly busy they have been in 2020. She is a shining example of someone who is fully present. In the technical logical age, being present means getting back to people quickly. Even when you don’t have an answer, if somebody reaches out to you, you get back to them and say, “I will find out,” and give them some schedule and then walk your talk and follow through. Her business is thriving. She’s loving it because she’s fully present. That combines and synergizes with her energy. She doesn’t look at it as overwhelmed. She looked at it as “It’s crazy right now. I’m going to ride this wave. I’m going to keep these habits of being present, of being energized, and understand that being present one-to-one in physical form is vitally important.”
In the technological age, it’s also about getting back to people and surprising them. What happens when we get overwhelmed? What happens when we’re not present? We put stuff off and then we forget it, then that person feels unimportant. Being present conveys to anyone you’re present with that, “You are important, you matter, you count, and I care about you.” When you do that, you’re going to have a shining career.
I have a story like that too and I’m pretty sure I’ve said it on this show. When you had a show for a few years, you don’t know what you’ve said. I’m sure I’ve said the same thing 1,000 times. Years ago, before I was doing very well but I wasn’t the mega-producer that I was, I hadn’t figured out the code and cracked the code on everything. I was doing what everybody else was doing. I was chasing objects and trying to do everything because that must work. That’s the shiny object. That’s a magic pill. If I do that, it’ll work. I had emailed a bunch of people and said, “Could you give me 3 or 4 words to describe me because what you described me is how I’m going to create my brand instead of me thinking one thing.” I got all these big, beautiful accolades. I said, “Be honest.” It was like, “You’re great.”
One person came back and said, “Not present.” I had to get my big girl panties on and I had to call him and say, “You said I wasn’t present. Help me understand this because I’m freaking out about it.” He said, “Jen, you’re great. You do many great things, but when you have all these events, you’re like a bride at a wedding. You’re running around and talking to everybody and superficially having conversations.” He said, “If I could watch you have 2 or 3 good conversations.” I go, “I wouldn’t be able to talk to you.” He said, “No, I don’t care about that. It’s what I’m observing. It’s what I’m watching. People are watching you. When they’re watching you and they see that you’re taking the time to have an in-depth conversation with 1 or 2 people, they feel like they’re part of it. When you’re running around like that, they don’t feel like they’re a part of anything.”
That is a very good friend and very beautiful. I can see you took it to heart.Within every adversity is the seed being planted of equivalent or even greater benefit. Click To Tweet
It changed my life.
I have been on many shows and I would say you are as present in interviewing someone than anyone that I have been with.
Thank you. I’m looking over for more questions. That’s why I’m looking over the list of questions, and I’m taking copious notes because I learn all the time.
That’s another wonderful key is the fact that you are a lifelong learner expresses something that is never taught and is more important than it’s ever been. That is the importance and the power of humility and being humble. A lot of people think humble is a weakness, which is silly. Being humble doesn’t mean you think less of yourself. You can be confident and be humble. It means you think of yourself less. The reason why humility is key to being successful to having a great life, only those who are humble are lifelong learners. Only those who are humble would rather say, “I didn’t do that well,” and learn from it than have to be right. The fact that you’re taking copious notes shows that you’re always looking to grow. Being humble means you know you can get better.
Probably one of the humblest people I know was John Wooden, and he was the most successful of all time. He would go in the summers and go to a high school coaches camp. He sits in the stands because he’d heard that coach had something good that he wanted to learn from. Could you imagine that high school coach looking up and seeing John Wooden in the stand? He’ll forget everything he knows, but that was John Wooden. He’s always looking to get better each day. If you live with that sense, it also fills you with energy because you’re always pursuing, growing, learning, and it’s fun.
That’s the difference between confidence and cockiness. I know some top producers in the mortgage and real estate space and other areas. We are both around a lot of speakers and they can get cocky. When I can come in with confidence and be humble, it’s much better than the cockiness. It already tells me they’re not humble. There are some speakers out there that I don’t care if I share a stage with because they are not my people. I don’t know if I was cocky when all that was happening. I know that I was scrambling to create something in my life, and felt that scramble and that hustle was the way to go. I’ve learned it’s not about the hustle, it’s about alignment. Once you’re aligned with who you are and you decide to make choices to dedicate and focus your energy on the things that matter most. The things that are going to move the needle on your business or move the needle in your relationships with your spouse or business-wise. You’re going to be so much better off in the long run.
It’s a play on the KISS principle, Keep It Simple Superstar. I like superstar. It’s another parallel. When I first started speaking, I wanted to get everything I could possibly think of out there. I would look at people and it’s the same feeling as if you’re drinking from a fire hose. All you do is get thirsty, when you come down to what’s most important, your priorities. When you come down and make it that much simpler, what happens is you give people and yourself the opportunity to progress, to work on something. You then can go to the next, and then to the next, but when you try to jam so much in, you end up with nothing. That’s a foundation of keeping it simple. Another John Wooden key thing was that he was about simplicity, making things understandable and clear. You have to do that to yourself. Some people think complicated is smart. Simple is smart.
That’s important too. That’s what makes you so good at what you’re doing. You’re making it very simple for people to understand. It’s like drinking a fire hose. I’ve suggested many times, tune in to this show, then go back and take notes, the go back again and look at your notes, then when are you going to put it into action? “Of all those things that I’ve heard over and over like I’ve heard this one thing four times in all that process. That must be something that’s resonating with me and I need to take action on it.”
Podcasts are great, it depends on the podcast as far as what the content is. This is personal and professional development. That’s all what the show is. I want to say thank you for that. I want to ask you one last question. We’re coming up to this yea and some people still haven’t done a business plan. They still haven’t figured it out. As we’re coming up into 2021, what is the word that you’re hearing out there in the big world? There’s a word that I think is out there. It’s not your word. What are you seeing is the thing that is big in 2021?
That’s a great question and one that I haven’t thought about before, so I appreciate it. For me, I’m torn between two words. One we’ve used a lot already, which is energy. I think that 2020 was a year of paralysis for many people and we need to re-energize. The other one is flexibility. Flexibility and energy to me are the combinations that we have. It goes along with what you said, take action. When we shoot a rocket from the earth to the moon, it travels teleologically. What that means is if we let it go straight, it’s going to miss. It depends on feedback, but we have to act on that feedback. We have to pay attention to what’s working. It’s like if you hold the wheel on your car, you’re going in the ditch. You have to make constant adjustments, but you make no adjustments if you’re not in motion. It’s about the concept of energy with flexibility. That’s what we need in 2021. That will fill us with a sense of hope over fear. It’ll fill us with a sense of faith over doubt and that’s what we need to do.
I love what you said. I tried to write it down and I didn’t catch it completely but I know that you’re going to say it again for me. It is that without any motion, there’s no adjustment. You have to have that motion in order even to make adjustments. That’s super key because many people are stifled. You said paralysis, but it’s numb and not knowing what step to take. I do think energy is powerful because that’s the only way you can take the step. I don’t know if you know it or not, but my company is called Kinetic Spark Consulting.
I didn’t know that but it sure makes sense.
It’s called that for that very reason. It’s taking action and the spark plug needs to be there as well. It’s not the movement. The spark makes the movement happen, and my entire practice is about taking action. I love that. I’m going to ask you a couple of funny questions as we finished up. Thinking back on your childhood, what was your favorite TV show?
Leave it to Beaver. I’m dating myself, Eddie Haskell. I was that age at the same time and I could relate to the whole deal. I wish my dad was that involved.
He was a mysterious guy. I love that. What is your favorite candy?
That’s easy. That’s a Heath bar. I love that combination of chocolate and taffy or toffee. That’s taffy pulls your teeth up.
It’s more condensed. I was going to ask you what your favorite sport was but I think I know, swimming. That part is easy.
My favorite sport to coach was swimming. My favorite sport to do was running. I ran several marathons and it was a place where I would percolate where without forcing things, things would come together. A real important part of my writing process was running, so I love that.
Do you know why? Because our energy vibrates as the earth does. That’s why when people are frustrated, they’re like, “I got to get outside and get some fresh air.” You’re going to have to go out there to reset and recalibrate yourself to the world. It’s interesting because you had talked about waking up with gratitude. It’s even more powerful when you do a gratitude walk because you’re getting the benefits of both.
That’s a great idea. Ask that question. What am I truly grateful about when you’re outside breathing in that incredible air?
The last question on this is, what was your favorite board game?
I’m flaking out on the name of it. It’s a word game.
Was it Scrabble?
When I was a kid, it was Risk. It was a great game because it was strategic. You were trying to control the whole world. I played that with a bunch of buddies and it always turned out that the key to controlling the world was Australia. That was the secret to it. I enjoyed that strategic thinking.
Do you have a Risk game in your house?
We don’t know. We should though. We have all kinds of other ones. I have to get that one.
That’s one of the reasons why I asked the game. I clicked your reticular activator, so the next time you go, think about a Heath bar.
You got my Reticular Activating System in here. Get your RAS in gear.The highest vibrational emotion is gratitude. Click To Tweet
Brian, it’s been an absolute delight. Thank you so much for being with us. Tell us how we can help you?
I love what I do. It’s what I’m put on this earth to do. The chance to speak to people, whether virtually or in-person, who knows when we would be in-person, is a gift to me. Whenever you seek to enrich others’ experience, you can’t help but enrich your own. My website is the key to the find me. It’s BrianBiro.com. It’s pretty simple. I’m excited about my book. It’s called The ROI of Kindness.
I have it. It’s good and I love it. I’ve been reading it. I have been reading it at night. You sent it to me too. I grabbed it and I read it. I said, “I’ll read it while I’m watching TV and flip through it.” I then think I’ll try to do it a couple of nights, and I was like, “I think I’m going to move this to my miracle morning reading. I’ll of bounce back and forth between my Chicken Soup for the Soul Catholic version,” which is what I’m doing now into the ROI of Kindness. I love that. When did you release that book and can we get it on Amazon?
In 2020. You can’t get it on Amazon. You have to go to InspireKindness.com. It’s a unique way that we market this book. The concept is pretty simple. Many people think kindness is weak in business. The book points out in a striking way and a fun way that is an old wrong thinking. Kindness is the single biggest generator of engagement. It teaches us, how do you deliver kindness in the ways that matter? I call it the seven habits of being a CKO, which is a Chief Kindness Officer.
You have a lot of acronyms in that book. I’m like, “What’s a CKO?” There’s another, KVP.
Kindness Value Proposition.
It was a value proposition because I was like, “It’s not like a USP. It’s a little bit different.” Thank you so much. I’ve had so much fun. This is one of my longest shows in probably a year, but the time went.
I can’t believe it.
Normally I don’t do that, but hang in there with us and hopefully, you did at the end. Thank you so much for joining us and being part of this, and sharing your inspiration for mortgage lenders, real estate agents, and the other solopreneurs and sales professionals that are reading as well. I know that everyone got something from it. As we leave, other than energy, give us one word to send us on our way.
Thank you, Jen. It was an honor. It’s a privilege. Thanks for all you do and all you are.
Thank you so much. We will catch you next time. As a reminder, please write a review. Give us a five-star rating. If you ever have a topic that you want us to discuss or you have someone that you think would be great on the show, or you would like to be on the show as part of our panel that we do, please send an email to Support@KineticSparkConsulting.com. We will respond to you immediately because that’s what we’re supposed to do. We’ll catch you next time.
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About Brian Biro
Brian Biro is America’s Breakthrough Coach! A major client described him best when he said: “Brian Biro has the ENERGY of a 10-year old… the ENTHUSIASM of a 20-year old, and the WISDOM of a 75-year old! Brian has delivered over 1,800 presentations around the world over the last 30 years.
The author of 15 books including his bestseller, BEYOND SUCCESS, and his brand new THE ROI OF KINDNESS, Brian was rated #1 from over 40 Speakers at 4 consecutive INC.
Magazine International Conferences. With degrees from Stanford University and UCLA, Brian has appeared on Good Morning America, and CNN. Brian was recently named one of the top 100 most inspirational graduates in the 75-year history of the UCLA Graduate School of Business.
He was also honored as one of the top 10 interactive keynote speakers in North America, and one of the top 60 Motivational Speakers in the WORLD!