Helping The Woman Realtor Find Her Voice With Jan Copeland

MLM 244 | Women Real Estate Agents

Women real estate agents make up the great bulk of the business, yet they tend not to get the same amount of success and recognition as their male counterparts. What is holding them back? How can they rise to the challenge and thrive in these difficult times? Realtor and real estate coach Jan Copeland answers these questions and more as she joins Jen Du Plessis in this episode. From her long experience in the real estate brokerage sphere, Jan has acquired a unique understanding of what makes women agents tick. She has since dedicated her career to helping women like herself succeed in the business.

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I have with me Jan Copeland. There’s a nice little story about how Jan and I met. It’s been several years, but it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long. A funny little story that she doesn’t know, but most people who have been reading for a while know that I’ve been speaking, coaching and teaching for years. She had asked me to come out to an event that she was holding called Sterling Women at the time to be a speaker there. I know later, we changed the name. Ironically, that particular speech was probably one of the hardest speeches I’ve ever done in my life because of two reasons. One, it was the first time I ever told people my story and let people know that I came from what I came from.

The second part is that I stood behind a podium. It was the first time I’d ever stood behind a podium to do a speech because I don’t do that. It was very confining for me, so it was tough for me to do that. I want to tell you a little bit about Jan. She’s a real estate agent and she has her grown children in the quicksand because both of my kids were in mortgage lending. One still is. She’s grooming them to take over her business as she transitions into her real estate coaching company. The name of your company is Jan Copeland Coaching. She has a unique niche, which is she is a mentor specifically to women real estate agents and realtors. We’re going to talk about that.

The reason we’re going to talk about it is that as a realtor, if you’re reading and you are a woman realtor and you’re trying to figure out how to get some traction, Jan’s going to enlighten you on some ideas here that will help you. If you’re a loan officer or a title company reading and you’re working with men and women realtors, you may want to take a different tactic with women that you do over what you do with men. Before we get started, I have a very poignant question to be asking you, so that we can learn more about you. When you think back early time in your life that’s interesting or as challenging, can you tell us about that time and how you think that has shaped you as an adult in your life and your business?

Thanks for having me on, Jen. What my mind goes to immediately is when I was 29 years old and I had gotten promoted about eight months before to headquarters. I had started at Bell Atlantic NYNEX Mobile, which was the cellular industry in ‘98. I was a top salesperson and got promoted to sales manager. They were grooming me for an Area VP and they sent me to corporate. I was a product manager. I lived in Trenton, New Jersey. I’m a Philly girl. I was originally from Philly. I was driving 1.5 hours each way in horrendous traffic going to Northern Jersey. I had this three-year-old, I was a single mom. I took a pay cut because when you’re at the top in sales, whether you’re a sales manager or a salesperson, you’re making the bucks. All of a sudden, they want to groom you, which means they’re cutting your pay.

MLM 244 | Women Real Estate Agents
Women Real Estate Agents: Women real estate agents need to make themselves visible as calm, caring, and confident agents who have the ability to become connectors in their local market.

They know exactly where you are and when you are all the time too.

My freedom was gone. I was leaving the house at 6:00 in the morning and getting home at 6:30 at night because I left right at 5:00 and suddenly I was like, “Something’s not right here.” I have a kid and I’m a single mom. She’s the most important thing to me, but I have about 1.5 hours with her every day. I turned to God and I said, “God, what am I supposed to do?” I heard very clearly, “Get home to your support system.” I have five brothers and sisters. I had a ton of nieces and nephews all back in the Philadelphia area. I looked online, got an amazing job as Senior Director of Sales and Marketing, having hundreds of people under me.

I’m making way more money than I ever made in my life with a twenty-minute commute. I sold my townhouse in Trenton and moved back to PA. What that proved to me was that I could be accountable and empowered to do what I wanted in life. I was letting the company take me where they wanted me and it wasn’t good for me. I’d say that it is very telling. That gave me confidence and empowerment to do what I felt was good for me.

I know that you then brought that into real estate too. From the first time I met you, which was way before I spoke, we met a couple of times. You were a listing agent on one of the deals that we were doing and you had some communication with some common real estate friends of ours. I recognize that you did real estate differently as well because you had control over how you were going to do it and you weren’t going to succumb to the traditional make a bunch of phone calls and go knock on a bunch of neighborhood doors. Tell us how you started your business, how you came in, what you realized, and how you recognized that you should do things differently. Tell us some of the things that you did as a newbie in the business so that anyone who’s reading and who’s new can say, “From the get-go, I’m going to do it differently.”

My husband and I met on the internet in 1999. I left and went to the DC area. We were living in Northern Virginia. My husband got a job in Winchester, Virginia, which I had never heard of. When I first went there, I’m like, “What happened?” I thought it was nice because it was quieter. I said to my husband, “I’m bored. I’ve got to do something. My little guy was going to kindergarten.” He said, “You love houses, you’re all about HGTV, get your realtor’s license.” I have to say, every time I’ve listened to him, I’ve thrived. I knew no one in a brand-new market. I’m from the North, so I talk fast. I had the Philly accent. I didn’t know what I was moving into because people there have a Southern accent.

We need to share that with people because I live out in the country and equidistant between two hubs, that being Leesburg and the other side being Winchester. In Leesburg and East, we all talk fast like Philly people. On the other side of the mountain, I live at the very base of the Blue Ridge Mountain, it’s like Southern Virginia even though it’s West.

I joined a small mom-and-pop real realtor brokerage. Immediately, while the brokers embraced me because they liked my background, my peers did not embrace me. They said, “You’re a blow-in.” I’m glad that in that area, there are many blow-ins that they don’t say that anymore. It was like, “I’ve got to do this on my own.” I sat there and thought, “What am I going to do? You know sales.” I knew that I wasn’t going to be pounding doors and making phone calls because it’s not who I am. I said, “Jan, think back to what you did when you were a top salesperson and manager and everything.”

I love networking, so I’m good in person. I started networking. I have an affinity for women and I always had, even as a little girl. Even in school, I remember in kindergarten there was this little girl who was shy and she always went off to the corner. I always say, “Come on, let’s play.” It’s within me. I started going to places. I was always out and about. In other words, I was eating lunch out. I was getting coffee and eating breakfast out. I don’t drink coffee, but I would go to those places to get whatever I got, a bottle of water or whatever. I was out and about wearing stuff that clearly said I was a real estate agent. This is a great story and this is so telling of how you can acclimate yourself to what’s going on in the times.

Women need to know their value and be able to speak from their vantage point. Click To Tweet

It was good at first. When I joined, the market was good but then it died. It cuts right off. I did have a mentor and I was to be with her three days a week. While we’re sitting there, she had a duty. She got a call that said, “Show me this house for a buyer.” She didn’t qualify the buyer. I looked at what she did that was good and what I didn’t want to do. Nonetheless, we went out. It was a big sign on the door at that point that said, “Wells Fargo foreclosure.” We’re waiting for the buyers to arrive. I said, “How do they get their agents? How did this agent get this listing from Wells Fargo?” She goes, “You have to be a realtor for 10 or 20 years. You’re cute.” She patted me on the head because I said, “I’m going to research this. I want to get these REOs, these foreclosures.” She thought I was cute, whatever.

The lady came, she wasn’t a real buyer. It was a waste of time. I shook my head. Nonetheless, I went back to my broker’s office. I said, “I’d like to be an agent for Wells Fargo. Do you know how do you become one of those?” She goes on, “Jan, you’re so cute. No, they want people with lots of experience.” I said, “Okay.” I went back, googled that and somehow, by God’s grace, I found out an application. The application clearly said that you had to be a realtor for at least two years and you had to have some other criteria. I didn’t lie. I was an agent for four months at that point.

I put four months and all my sales and management experience. Two days later, I got an email that said, “You’re accepted.” I got four listings immediately. I started doing BPOs and meanwhile, I’m a top performer and everybody else is like, “How did she get it? How did you do it? I applied and I didn’t get it.” Maybe it was my corporate experience. Maybe it was God’s divine intervention, but that’s how I got my start. I’ll say one more thing. The other thing is like you mentioned Sterling Women. I had been a coach, ICF certified, International Coach Federation certified five years prior to that. I had been the first eWomen Network Managing Director. We went to the Tower Club every month. I had met the founder of Sterling Women there, Kristina Bouweiri. She came to Winchester for one of our chamber meetings. She tapped me and said, “I’d love you to do it.” Being out allows opportunities to come to you.

As they say in our business, “You can’t be a secret agent without being a secret agent.” That’s the key. In this environment, if you’ve been doing it for a while and you’re not as successful as you’d like to be, it’s going to be hard to get out. Let’s talk about what you’re doing and what you’re suggesting. We had some interactions back and forth because I did a two-hour webinar for 182 realtors. It was about the market and understanding and having my loan officer clients bring these realtors to the meeting because they didn’t understand what was going on. A big bone of contention with me the lack of understanding of how markets work generally in our industry.

I felt that the realtors were frozen. They were procrastinating. They were sitting back and saying, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know if I’m going to have a business on the backside of this.” I wanted a way that we could jump in and say, “Let’s calm it down. Let’s be patient and I believe in learning so that we can leverage everything later.” That builds up confidence. What are you suggesting and telling your clients for the benefit of everyone who’s reading? What are some tactics, maybe 2 or 3 points that you’re saying, “Do these three things to ensure that you continue to have that visibility instead of the invisibility?”

I only coached ladies. The first week we got under lockdown, I was saying, “Ladies, we need to be seen as the confident, caring, calm real estate experts. The best way to do that is through video.” I had shared, “I don’t care if you don’t like the way you look and the way you sound. If the kids are screaming in the background, nobody cares about that. Nobody cares what the heck’s going on.” I started offering Thursday masterclasses, which are still continuing and they will continue through the pandemic. Making and maximizing video, going live, get a Facebook algorithm to love you and open up more of your friends and what not to see what you’re doing. Not only that, to make sure that you’re saying, “If you like what I’m saying, can you give me a yes in the comment?” In other words, getting engagement on your video.

Saying, “Hi, so and so,” because that reminds me when she looked through the mirror and said, “I see, Jennifer.” That’s what a lot of people do like, “Bob? Susie?” but they’re not engaging. I thought it was great that you were teaching realtors how to do a Facebook Live, which was pretty hilarious because you were standing and like, “This is what I’m wearing from here up.” The questions that were coming in, “I don’t know where that button is,” it was something that was needed. I commend you for taking the time to teach people how to do it.

We had to make the video challenge and I’m running it again, even to take it more, then do watch parties a day or two later.

You can republish them.

Slice and dice it to make sure you can get it on Insta Stories and use it for posts with screenshots. People are afraid to react. They think, “I said it once. Didn’t everyone hear that?” No. It is like doing movie launches. We get inundated. I’m not a moviegoer, but it pisses me off. It’s like, “Enough. I don’t want to see this movie, but yet they go over and over.” Video’s huge. Being the calm voice that we’re still transacting business, bringing a weekly update, “Believe it or not, in such and such county or such and such zip codes, whatever constitutes your market, there are many houses that went under contract. Here’s how many got listed. Here’s how many closed.” Everybody thinks they’re a real estate expert, which is hilarious. You list your house, suddenly your neighbor says, “You listed too low.” You put yourself out there as the go-to person. Video is number one.

The second thing that I told them to do and suggested was to be the connector in your local market amongst all the entrepreneurs. All the mom-and-pop shops in your market, call them up, get on a weekly Zoom and promise to give each other shout-outs. They give you a shout-out and you give them a shout-out. You are the calm, caring, confident agent who is the leader. You asked for three things. The third thing would be to engage with your friends, your Facebook friends, your Instagram connections, and follower because people complain. I’m sure they do and lenders too. “I don’t have enough. I only have 100 followers or 200 friends, what do I do?” If you don’t engage with the ones you have, then you’re already behind the eight balls.

MLM 244 | Women Real Estate Agents
Women Real Estate Agents: Women grab onto fear and let that hold them back, whereas men take the fear and run with it. That’s a reality women realtors have to recognize and address.

That’s important for your database as well, not just through your clients. I call that your community. I don’t ever call it my database. Making sure that you’re checking in with them and using that same calm, care, and connection in confidence. This is where the learning comes in that I was reflecting back on is that a lot of people were saying, “I don’t feel confident calling them because they’re going to ask me about what’s going on and I don’t understand it.” That’s why I said, “I need to teach everybody how to understand this so we can increase their level of confidence so that they will engage with people.” Those are wonderful.

What it also does is it starts to plant seeds, especially as you were saying engaging with your community or the connections. It’s also planting the seed. If you haven’t had a chance to build that home services team, personal team, financial team, transaction team, this is the perfect time to build that team. It’s also a time for you to be looking at who said they were your partner, but they’re not even calling you. Recalibrating relationships is a good time to do as well. Thank you so much for that. I want to transition into the differences between men and women and why. It used to be the case, but it’s not the case in lending space. Why don’t we talk about the statistics of realtors, men versus women, and why you felt compelled to help women? I’d like to hear some of the differences that you are guiding women through strategically.

The latest statistic is 64% of the United States agents and brokers are women. When I say brokers in this sense, I don’t mean broker-owners. In some states, you’re not known as an agent. You’re known as a broker. When you look at the Power 200 list, the top teams and the top individual agents, 60% are men and 40% are women. When that latest list came out in January or February 2020, I went and looked painstakingly at the top ten teams. Eight were men. I looked at their websites and the bulk of their agents or brokers, whoever was in their team were women. That ticks me off. In my research psychologically, because I’m very much into psychology, I discovered that men will take action when an idea is less than 30% complete because they’ll figure it out on the way.

They’re mechanics. That’s how they think.

Women have to be at least 75% in their brain, in their mind done before they’ll act. That’s a problem. What does that tell you? Women are grabbing onto the fear and let that hold them back, whereas men take the fear and for whatever reason, run with it. When I came into that market where we met, there was one particular guy that was number one. I said to my husband, “I’m going to kick his butt,” and I did. I loved it. It wasn’t that I hated him. It was that I knew I was better. I have to share with you that everyone that I talked to, either men or women, were intimidated by this person because he had been number one for decades. It’s not anything against men. I have a husband, I have sons. I love my dad, all that. It’s that inside of me, my mom was a chronically depressed woman because of the hell she went through, which I won’t go into, but she was tormented as a child and abused by her parents. She brought that with her because everybody’s perception is their reality. That is the reason why when I kindergarten when there was a little girl who was shy, I wanted to bring her into the fold.

I want everybody to know their value. I want every woman to know not only their value but that they can speak from their vantage point. We talked about video, in other words. When I run women through this challenge, women’s biggest reason for not, isn’t that they look bad, although that is a reason. It’s that they’re not confident in the content and they’re afraid someone’s going to comment negatively or challenge them on their facts. What I like to coach my clients on is, “That MLS, you should be in there in initially hours studying either a neighborhood, a price range, a zip code, or a style of home so that nobody else knows it as you do.” That’s what I did in my market. I would be talking about it even though I hadn’t even sold that house. Back then, it wasn’t video. My videos started in ‘08, so I love it when they pop up on my Facebook. I love watching how cute I was back then. It was good, but you get better as you get more educated.

The fact that I was out there sharing what the market was from my perception, men are very good at that. Women are not. My heart is that’s what I’m trying to teach them, “You have a voice. You have an opinion. Nobody can question your opinion of the facts.” If you’re in the MLS, you know how to pull average days on market, you know how to pull how many months of on-hand inventory we have, whatever. You can stand within your confidence and make assessments and adjustments from that. I want to share one more thing and that is Barbara Corcoran. She was one of the only women, if not the only woman initially, and that’s how she got her start. I forget what she called her weekly Corcoran newsletter or email. It was a newsletter that she would mail out, but it was her perception of the market and that got her to rise to number one.

I think she calls it The Corcoran Connection. I’ve spoken with her on stage many times. I know Barbara. She’s probably one of my most favorite women around. People ask me all the time because I’ve spoken with some heavy-duty people. I’ll keep my comments to myself about most of them. She is an absolute doll. This woman is a hard worker, ethical and Christian. She’s wonderful. I love her. I want to backtrack on some of the things that you said, which is niching. This is a big challenge for a lot of people. Until you get to a point where you’re successful, you understand the concept of niching to grow rich or how everybody is if someone wants to say that.

In my opinion, it’s not about the niche to grow rich. It definitely is. For me, it’s about increasing your market influence. You’re seen as an expert in one area. One of the challenges I have with a lot of salespeople, and I won’t keep it specific to our industries but is that there’s a tendency to say one, “If you know anybody who is looking to buy, sell, rent and refi, please call me.” I don’t know anybody because the question is wrong. If you’re selling to everybody, you’re selling to nobody. What we want to do is put a spotlight on your niche. Talk to us about how you determined your niche. There are all kinds of ways that people do it, but how did you determine what your niche was going to be?

This is the basis of my coaching. This is how I did it as well, which is why it’s near and dear to my heart. Think about when an agent gets their license and they choose a broker. What does the broker tell you? This isn’t bashing brokers, but yet I’m saying what I see, “Pound the doors, work open houses, go and grab your chamber, get your business cards.” They talked about it as if it were cookie-cutter as, if you do these things whether you feel like doing it or not, you’re going to be successful.

This is why for the average realtor, the number is $42,000 a year.

My whole thing was, “What do I like?” Working, I’m going to be doing a heck of a lot of it and I want to be around people I want to be around. I had an affinity for women, I wanted to be around women. Every time I went to a networking event, I was looking for 3 to 4 women that I would ask out for coffee afterward so that I could get to know them. I made a conscious decision that I wanted to work with either executive women, professional women, and women that were conscious of the community because I wanted community leaders. I jumped in. Yes, I joined the chamber, but only for one season because that would get me connected. After that, I took accountability. I have a client, for example, who when she comes to me, we do a ‘me assessment.’ Sadly, most women have no idea what they like anymore because they’re getting to this and that. They have no idea. We have a whole process for that. This woman said, “Jan, sadly all I want to do is have lunch with friends.” I’m like, “Why is that sadly? Start a women’s lunch.” She started it. She got four people. She has about 20 to 30 people every twice a month before this pandemic. They do it now on Zoom.

You have a voice. You have your opinion of the facts, and nobody can question that. Click To Tweet

Before the pandemic, she started dinner because some people couldn’t make lunch. They said, “Can we meet at night?” She had dinner. She has over 3,000 people in her Facebook group, which is great. You need to have a Facebook group that’s hyper-local. She never has to prospect in any way other than within the ladies who are in her group, who go to her lunches, who went to her dinners, and they’re meeting on Zoom. I have another lady. She was into gardening. When she came to me, she’s talking about gardening and I’m like, “Do you go to a gardening club?” She goes, “I used to, but I already can’t.” I go, “How come?” The bottom line is she joined the gardening. We worked together for a year. Within a year, she got close to $1-plus million listings and her market’s average was $248,000. In other words, when you dive into who you are and who you want to hang out with, you shine because you’re not being fake and you don’t feel like, “I’m not comfortable here.”

That’s powerful because then people know you for who you are. Otherwise, people are like, “I don’t know or that realtor who comes in with their business cards in there like a cat on a marble floor and they’re constantly, ‘Do you know anybody?’” I want to back up a little bit again on the original comment that you had made, which was getting out there and doing videos. I’m not going back to your three things. I’m talking about what you did. I want to talk about content because it is the easiest thing in the world, but I don’t know where the wall is for many people. As a realtor, what is the content you’re putting out or you’re suggesting that people put out?

I don’t put any realtors. To make it clear, I don’t market myself as a realtor. I did, but not anymore. What I’m telling my kid, my clients and my followers to do is one of three things. Because of the pandemic, people need lighthearted. I’m telling them to let people see your “coworkers” as a little kid. I posted a picture before of my granddaughter. She’s three. My daughter sent me a picture of her with her preschool, having preschool on Zoom with our little dolly next to her because it’s a show and tell day and she was going to describe her dolly. That is lighthearted, cute, and entertaining. I know on TikTok, which I don’t do, but that any family videos of dancing and cooking, because I hate to cook, and we used to go out to eat all the time.

It’s different now. Thank God my son lives with us and he loves to cook. Letting people see glimpses behind the scenes of your real life, that’s cool because then people will be attracted to you or repelled from you and that’s fine. We don’t need people like that. The other thing is education. Entertainment, education and education could be anywhere from the weekly update, which I highly recommend as far as this is how many homes have gone under contract in the last week, how many have listed, how many have sold and closed. Giving them your feedback as far as how you are keeping everyone safe and how you are facilitating business as normal in these new times. Not only when we show we’re going to work gloves, but also asking for virtual appointments on Zoom or Facetime. These people sit are sitting home that were thinking they were going to sell their house and move after Johnny graduated high school, they’re shaking their heads like, “What’s going to happen?”

They need someone to lead them out of that to help them make a decision. There are a lot of things that we could talk about there. A lot of people that I’ve talked to, because they’re at home so much, they are saying, “This is not the home.” That’s something that people will be experiencing. We’re going to have some pent-up demand. The philosophy that you’re talking about here is along the lines of Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook, which is a book. It’s, “A little of this, a little of that, a little of this. I’m a realtor. This and this. By the way, I’m a lender.” I want to talk more about the content. I want to get your confirmation of this rather than asking you another question about it. During the course of the day, as realtors and loan officers and title people, any entrepreneur who’s reading, we are asked thousands of questions and that becomes your content.

You need to be cognizant of those frequently asked questions. In fact, I have a buyer intake form and a buyer presentation and a listing presentation that proactively addresses many of the frequently asked questions. Why not do a video about, “This is how I transact business with a buyer prospect?” Go over that and you’ll be answering their questions again, elevating yourself as the expert, the confident, calm professional.

I’m glad you confirmed it for me. I knew it was the answer. I wanted to make sure everybody knew this. I feel like a broken record with this. When people say, “I don’t know what to say,” “You’ve got to be kidding me.” How many times do you ask questions like, “What is the earnest money? Do I pay with a check? Do I wire it? Do I have to pay at all or offering the promissory note? When are they going to cash the check?” All of those can be repurposed into the various social media platforms. I call it the Daily Digital Deep Dive because one question can be spread among all of the digital platforms in different ways. What do you mean about a check? You’re writing a check for a house. You can use that as a tool. You can do a video, dumb it down, do links to it and do screenshots of things that you’re talking about. It goes on and on forever. The last question I want to ask you here is talking about the difference between men and women in strategic marketing. Both sides do random acts of marketing. What is different about the strategies that a woman is going to have over the strategies that a man has, so that someone who’s reading could say, “If I took these one or two strategies that Jan gave me, it’s going to pivot my business?” It’s a big a-ha moment for them.

In terms of strategy, stop comparing because you’re always going to lose. Dig deep into what your favorite part of real estate is. What part of the transaction, what part of the business is your sweet spot? Digging deep into that because I feel like women and men, but especially women, they’re overwhelmed and fear-filled that they’re taking this course and that course and everybody’s offering free courses. I had somebody email me who said, “I’ve taken thirteen training and I have a notebook and a half of information. I am stuck.” Stop that, because everybody’s going to tell you what they think. It’s time to come inside. For me, I focused on women and what kind of women. Everything I did, I made sure I was where they were. Decide how you’re going to show up and who you want to do business with. If you don’t decide who’s going to do business with you, then the low hanging fruit is going to do business with you. The low hanging fruits are looky-loos and people that are going to be problematic make you cry and you don’t want them. You want to repel those.

You want to do business with people that are like you, that enjoy the things that you enjoy are going to appreciate and respect your areas of expertise within the business. Men pray and spray. They’re the ones on the dialer. They’re the ones that are knocking on doors before the pandemic. They’re the ones that at the networking event are so in your face that people react to them because they’re overwhelming. That doesn’t work anymore. We’re seeing more of that. Women were gifted with being very relational naturally and empathetic. In most situations, a mom is going to approach a skinned knee, and dad’s going to approach it another way. We are more of the empathetic, more the heartfelt, and sincere. That’s where we need to dig our strategy. Own it apologetically and authentically.

If you’re reading and you’re a male loan officer and you’re trying to work with a female real estate agent, it’s important for you to understand that aspect and slow it down, back up a little bit and say, “If I’m going to guide them, I’m not going to guide them in my manner, my way.” This is one of the reasons why in all businesses, managers tend to manage the way that they are. They’ll tell you to go knock on doors because that’s what they did. In the mortgage space, go deliver rate sheets, which nobody is doing anymore. That was the thing. Go deliver rate sheets and buy donuts. I used to throw away the rate sheets and sit in the parking lot and eat all the donuts.

What worries me because I didn’t like cold calling, I found a different method to the madness. It reminded me of one of my colleagues, Cami Baker. She talks about people in networking being skunks. The kind of people likes, “Go away.” The shark, the one who comes in and goes, “Who’s my next victim?” They charge you and they do all of those things. The person who’s the squirrel, who’s a card collector and they have no intention of following up whatsoever and their mouth is full of cards. She added a sloth. The one who’s sitting in the corner on their phone and they are not doing anything. You know them, the roamer and you’re like, “Avoid them like the plague.” She says, “It’s important to be a spider. Be someone who is in there by design, the building of the web.” What a spider does is it builds this beautiful web with great connections that are strong. It sits back and it waits for people to come to them.

That’s what we’re talking about here. Stop going out and being that shark and that skunk and turn yourself into a spider so that you can build this unbelievable web of connections. Now is the time to do that. The pandemic has slowed us down enough to be able to put those types of things in play. The last question is one of the things that you had said to me is that marketing calls for a system that most other coaches simply aren’t talking about. I’m here to give you another way to do that. If you don’t have strong relationships with referral partners or referral friends and you don’t have a big community or you haven’t talked to your past clients since I bought their house. What’s your advice to get this ball rolling?

My friend, Tami Bonnell, the CEO of EXIT Realty, was on She’s Unstoppable live virtual conference and she calls it The Dirty Dozen. Find twelve relating companies or people that will support you and your clients. Quite frankly, it is the time to offer to be the leader, to bring them together on a Zoom call. Reach out individually, person-to-person to say, “In this time, my business is still growing. I want to bring you into the fold. I want to see if you’re the person that I can refer to with confidence. My goal is to always refer at least 6 to 10 people per week.” You become known as the connector. You share your genuine desire that you’re not sitting back during these times. You’re still out there, out there meaning on social media, texting, emailing so that you can be the source of the caring, calm, confident person in the market. It’s a matter of getting out of your fear and reaching out.

With social media, I’ve connected with many people like Tami Bonnell, Dottie Herman, all these big people who have been in the industry for decades. Without social media, I would have never had the opportunity to approach them. I want to share with you this. Video is how I got Dottie Herman to come to She’s Unstoppable, and Tracy Tutor from Million Dollar Listing LA. Video is how I got Tami Bonnell, how got Joan Doctor, and many of the other people who have connected with. I said, “Get ready, ladies.” I shoot a video on Zoom and put it over on my Vimeo and I shoot it out to them. They all always say, “It’s good that you send a video because otherwise, I get a million emails, message PMs and DMs. The reason I’m caught responding back to you is that you took the time to make a heartfelt video.” Why not do that? Share yourself with your local potential partners.

MLM 244 | Women Real Estate Agents
Women Real Estate Agents: Women are more empathetic, heartfelt, and sincere. We need to own it unapologetically and anchor our strategy on it.

Vimeo is a method you’re using. I know there are thousands of different methods and many people already have them. They’re not utilizing them. That’s sad. I love that she calls it The Dirty Dozen. I called them my twelve apostles, and I’ve called them that for years. They’re my A-plus referral partners, no matter what line of work they’re in. They’re my confidant.

I always called it the tribe but I’m like, “Dirty Dozen, I like that.”

The bottom line here is what we’re talking about is how to go from being invisible to being invincible, regardless of whether we’re in a pandemic or not. That’s the bottom line. I want to ask you what is one of your favorite quotes that becomes a mantra for you or something that you always revert back to and say, “This is something that compels me to continue?”

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” We all have bad days. We’ve all probably cried or two since this pandemic started, like, “What’s going on?” When I say, “I can do all things through Christ,” that gets me energized and back up and back moving.

It’s a reminder to let go and let God because that’s something that I look at every day, “Stop trying to control it all, Jen. Let it go to God.” Someone’s going to be looking out for me. If I do good for other people, they’ll do good for me as well. Jan, I was thinking, this is the Jan and Jen Show, which is funny because I have to introduce myself a lot of times as Jennifer because when I say Jen, people are going, “Jan?” I go, “No, like Jennifer.” I might as well say it in the beginning, but I go by Jen all the time. I want to say thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy day. I appreciate you taking the time to share this with everybody. This information is powerful regardless of what the market like. How would someone get ahold of you? What is the best way for someone to get ahold of you?

They can get on my calendar at or go to

I know that you’re also giving our readers a nice gift. It is your vault. It’s different for 30-minute or less quick training sessions. Remind us what the four sessions are, so they know what they’ll be getting.

Thirty pieces of content in 30 minutes or less. How to figure out your own style and why that’s important. The other two is how you use Canva to create engaging Instagram Stories, then how to style your listings, the power of staging. Style master class with a style coach and then 30 pieces of content in 30 minutes. That’s it. You can get it by going to

Stop comparing yourself to others because you’re always going to lose. Click To Tweet

Take her up on her offer. Go get that content. If you’re a loan officer, title company, get that content so you can share it with a realtor because they may not be reading this. Jan, I want to say thank you so much for bringing this information to us. It’s so powerful. I know that people can get onto your Facebook page if they’re a realtor. Thank you.

Thank you, Jen. It’s been great.

Thank you so much for reading again. A quick reminder, please leave us a review and a rating. It’s so easy to do on Apple Podcasts. Also, don’t forget to go to It is a location where all podcasts are listed in one place and you can search for your favorite topics and see what others are talking about. Please be sure to always pay this forward by sharing it with your realtor and loan officer friends and anybody else who you think would love to hear how to have some better personal and professional growth. I will catch you next time.

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About Jan Copeland

MLM 244 | Women Real Estate Agents

In spite of having been raised by a chronically depressed Momma, I’ve always had the gift of seeing the ‘bright side’ of things and my heart wants to ensure every woman real estate agent/broker truly lives a full life and has a successful business in spite of the dreaded ‘f’ word- fear! I’m consistently spending my free time taking classes on women empowerment, psychology, and the very latest pioneering marketing strategies from today’s leading experts. As an agent, I led the pack with innovative strategies, and during my 14 years as a Realtor, I was named to the Top 100 Influential Real Estate Agents list two years in a row. I continue to remain on the cutting edge of what truly works.

My current clients love that I bring innovative strategy specifically tailored to women, in a way that keeps it fun and simple. While making tons of money is great, my coaching helps agents & brokers achieve a well-rounded prosperous life filled with more time for personal things, less stress and the great income is the icing on the cake.

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